Category: Husband

Married Mondays – No I in We

Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

There is no I in Team and there is no I in We.  As a married couple the last time anything you said with an I mattered is when you said “I Do.”  From that point forward You don’t matter.  All of your decisions, problems, issues, and life is shared.  You are now in a partnership.  All of your things have become our things, all of the I want should reflect a WE need.

I headlined this week with the Bible verse that my wife and I have engraved inside of our wedding rings.  We decided earlier in our relationship that our relationship and our marriage would be based on us being a team, and being equal partners.  We also held strong the fact that God would be that third strand and fully integrated into our lives and relationship.

You have to make sure that you are living your life as a team. Too many times you see marriages that start out great, but then they discover that they are both too selfish, or at least one person in the marriage is too selfish.  Marriage is a partnership, it is a true team sport.  For a marriage to work well, both husband and wife must be equal partners.  There are going to be somethings that one is better at than the other, but they will end up complimenting each other.

If you find yourself focusing only on you and the things that want, take a step back, and reset your focus. Make sure that your decisions are based on the best for both of you.  Make sure that you are communicating about decisions no matter how small they may seem.

Being a team and communicating isn’t only about making decisions and money.  It is about sharing responsibility.  It is about working together through everything.  It’s sharing the workload at home, it’s doing things together and working through even the most mundane tasks, TOGETHER.

If you have been having a rough day, you need to make sure that you are talking to your spouse.  Taking time out to talk about what is going on in your life and what was good and bad in both of your days no matter how small, are the extra things that will continually bring you closer together.

Ruth 1:16-17 (NKJV)

But Ruth said:

“Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me.”

This week take time to focus on each other.  Take time to realize the things that your other half does that keep life moving.  Make sure that you thank them for the things that they do.  Make sure that you show them that you appreciate all that they do.  Take on some of the things that they do and give them a break.  Make sure that they know you will always be there.

Be the shoulder that they need, be the ear that is there to listen and hear, be the hands that help.

by corymcglone

Married Mondays – Edition One

For the last few weeks I’ve been thinking through starting this series, so here it goes.

Married Mondays First Edition

Look I’m not a counselor, I’m not a specialist, I’m no expert.  I’m a married man, with a kid, and full-time job.  I have to make time for my family and life.

I wanted to take this first post and talk about marriage and being there for your wife.

Guys listen, once you get married life changes.  You are no longer a bachelor.  You are responsible for more than just you now.  I’ve talked before about one of the easiest things to do is to say you would die for someone, It’s the long time saying and heroic thing to do, but 99% of the time you’ll never have to do it.  What matters more is that you are willing to do the dishes for her.  You are willing to put her first, make her take a break, and you do the chores around the house that you hate to do.  Also face it, you’re not just you anymore.  Yes, you can go hang out with the boys, but don’t neglect her.  Make sure she is getting more attention than your buddies or your video games.

Look we all hear the stories of he/she really let themselves go after they got married.  Guys, you put in the effort while you were dating and engaged,  Why does that have to stop now that your married?  Your wife wants you to be the man she fell in love with.  I know stuff gets in the way and keeps us from doing other things, but come on at least make an effort.

Take your wife out on a date.  Date nights become a memory if you don’t keep them up after your married for a while.  You get stuck in the mundane tasks of life and get stuck in your routines.  Make it a priority to go out just the two of you.  And let me add, SET THE PHONE DOWN.  We spend too much time thinking about that next post, tweet, selfie, or whatever and don’t focus on the one that is right in front of us.

Spend quality time together.  As life goes on, it will be more about the quality of the time you get together than the quantity of time you get together.  You may only get a few hours of true time together each day, but make the most of it.  Make sure that you are communicating.  Talk, Listen, and Hear.  Talk to her, tell her about your day, tell her what is bothering you at work.  Listen to her, listen to the details of what she is sharing with you.  Hear what she is and is not saying.  Let’s face it guys, we need to all make sure that we hear what she is NOT saying.  Ladies we aren’t mind readers, we try to figure you all out, but throw us a bone here.  Some of us are doing the best that we can.  Guys in all seriousness, it is this communication that we as humans long for. Communication is what will build and strengthen your relationships.

My challenge to you this week – Take your wife on a date.  It doesn’t even have to be a night out.  Do something that you did when you were dating, grab some take out and watch a movie.  The other challenge for this week is to take 20 minutes a day and talk to your wife.  It doesn’t matter if it’s just about what was involved in each of your days, or about how much you love her and love being with her.  Talk, be genuine, be open, be the man that she fell in love with.  It doesn’t matter if you have been together for years, weeks, or months.  Work on these things and become closer to each other.

by corymcglone

Be above the mix…

This past week, I had one of those moments where the most random thing just sparked an idea that I couldn’t shake.  “You need to be above the mix…”  I heard this in two different episodes of one of our favorite new shows, Empire.  Both times she was listening to a new track, and this was her suggestion, “be above the mix,” “Don’t hide behind the music.”

I just keep thinking of this in real life.  So many times in life we hide behind, what we want others to see and hear.  We are scared to stand out and be different.  To some comparing life to music production and songs, won’t make any sense, to others it’s going to click like it did for me.  When you listen to a number of today’s top songs, you will hear a lot of the same beats, you will hear the beats better than the lyrics, you hear words not lines.  Today songs come out, many sound the same, sale incredibly great, but the meaning is not there.  Songs are made to give people what they want to hear, they give that great beat to move to.

Many of us live our lives this exact same way.  We hide behind what we know others want to see or hear, we spend so much time doing what others want, we forget ourselves.  It’s the people who step up,  go above the mix, those that let their voice be heard, that speak clearly and with meaning and purpose, that are remembered.  These are the people who make a difference.

Are you willing to be above the mix and not hide behind the idea of who you are, but truly be you?  Are you willing to be the parent that says, my kid isn’t going to do that or I’m a parent not a friend?  Are you willing to be that husband that actually listens to his wife, that does the laundry and the dishes to give your wife a break?  Are you willing to be that friend, that slaps your best friend back to reality when they are just being plain stupid?  Are you willing to be that student, that stops the bully, that sets the example for the rest of the team, for the rest of the class?

Take just one day, and put yourself above the mix, put yourself above where others think you should be, and then prove why you should be there.  If you’re stuck in a hole, is up to you to grab the rope.  If your voice is far below the drum machine and the bass, you have to choose to move that fader up.  Others can put the equipment there, others can help only as much as you let them.  It is up to you to make the call to get it moving.

by corymcglone