For the last few weeks I’ve been thinking through starting this series, so here it goes.

Married Mondays First Edition

Look I’m not a counselor, I’m not a specialist, I’m no expert.  I’m a married man, with a kid, and full-time job.  I have to make time for my family and life.

I wanted to take this first post and talk about marriage and being there for your wife.

Guys listen, once you get married life changes.  You are no longer a bachelor.  You are responsible for more than just you now.  I’ve talked before about one of the easiest things to do is to say you would die for someone, It’s the long time saying and heroic thing to do, but 99% of the time you’ll never have to do it.  What matters more is that you are willing to do the dishes for her.  You are willing to put her first, make her take a break, and you do the chores around the house that you hate to do.  Also face it, you’re not just you anymore.  Yes, you can go hang out with the boys, but don’t neglect her.  Make sure she is getting more attention than your buddies or your video games.

Look we all hear the stories of he/she really let themselves go after they got married.  Guys, you put in the effort while you were dating and engaged,  Why does that have to stop now that your married?  Your wife wants you to be the man she fell in love with.  I know stuff gets in the way and keeps us from doing other things, but come on at least make an effort.

Take your wife out on a date.  Date nights become a memory if you don’t keep them up after your married for a while.  You get stuck in the mundane tasks of life and get stuck in your routines.  Make it a priority to go out just the two of you.  And let me add, SET THE PHONE DOWN.  We spend too much time thinking about that next post, tweet, selfie, or whatever and don’t focus on the one that is right in front of us.

Spend quality time together.  As life goes on, it will be more about the quality of the time you get together than the quantity of time you get together.  You may only get a few hours of true time together each day, but make the most of it.  Make sure that you are communicating.  Talk, Listen, and Hear.  Talk to her, tell her about your day, tell her what is bothering you at work.  Listen to her, listen to the details of what she is sharing with you.  Hear what she is and is not saying.  Let’s face it guys, we need to all make sure that we hear what she is NOT saying.  Ladies we aren’t mind readers, we try to figure you all out, but throw us a bone here.  Some of us are doing the best that we can.  Guys in all seriousness, it is this communication that we as humans long for. Communication is what will build and strengthen your relationships.

My challenge to you this week – Take your wife on a date.  It doesn’t even have to be a night out.  Do something that you did when you were dating, grab some take out and watch a movie.  The other challenge for this week is to take 20 minutes a day and talk to your wife.  It doesn’t matter if it’s just about what was involved in each of your days, or about how much you love her and love being with her.  Talk, be genuine, be open, be the man that she fell in love with.  It doesn’t matter if you have been together for years, weeks, or months.  Work on these things and become closer to each other.