Tag: parenting

Target Focused Dads and Husbands – On Paper

-Quick update here, I thought I had posted this back in October. I just found this post, that should have been the second post in this series sitting in my drafts. I’ve been behind on getting some things together for this series and even though this was supposed to be out before, this feels right 2 months in here in 2024. How are things going with your resolutions? How are things with your changes for 2024? Do you have any idea where you are going this year? Let’s take some time to reflect on how this year is going so far, and make sure we are still grouped, consistent, and On Paper.

If you’ve ever been around someone sighting in a rifle or maybe you’ve been the one doing it, one of your first hopes is just to hit something that you can see. You just want to get on paper. From there you can make corrections, but you just need to know that you are actually making it somewhere. Sometimes that is how we go through life. We might think we are going the right way, but we aren’t even coming close to hitting the what we think we are aiming at.

To figure things out, sometimes it takes moving the paper closer and making other changes. Another way to think about getting on paper is to truly get things down on paper. I’m sure that at some point you’ve heard that the only way to achieve goals is to write them down. The other thing to think about is taking time not only to write your goals but to write down a personal inventory of your strengths and weaknesses. Take the time, to be honest with yourself about your weaknesses and the things that you struggle with. Once we are honest with ourselves and acknowledge our problems, we can start to deal with them.

18And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.

Romans 7:18-19

Getting on paper in this series is, spending time getting into the Bible, get into God’s papers. For many of us, sitting down and taking 5, 10, 15 minutes to read the Bible is a challenge. We will spend hours watching videos, reading reviews on cars, trucks, guns, bows, etc., but when it’s the Bible, we struggle. God has given us the instructions, as much as we hate to read instructions, we need to take the time to find the things that God has laid our for us. At our church of the last few weeks, we have been talking about David moving the Ark of the Covenant back into Jerusalem. When he first started moving it, he did what he thought he should do, put it on a cart, and move it with his power as the mighty ruler that he was. This resulted in one of the people in the group dying when he accidentally touched the Ark. David decided to stop moving the Ark and placed it in someone’s house. When he went back to move it again, David consulted the law and history. God had already told his people, how to properly move the Ark, it should be carried by the poles inserted on each side. (2 Samuel 6:1-7, 12-15 and Exodus 25:10-15)

A good next step for many of us is to find a reading plan, a small 3 day or 5 day devotional using the Bible App on your phone, or look for a Bible in a Year/New Testament in a year Bible. The studies from UNCOMMEN, have been good thought provoking short sessions. These are only 5-6 day commitments at a time. If you miss a few days, you can catch up, or just pick it back up. Taking small steps and making small changes will build the habits that lead to a change in how you handle all things in your life.

Take time over the next few weeks, find a study to do, and do it. Make time for God, make time for your family, make time for your wife. Move things out of the way and get yourself on paper. Get to where you have some idea of you stand, where you are aiming, where you are going. From there you can start making the corrections and building the habits that I’ll talk about next time, when we talk about groupings and consistency.

—Cory

by corymcglone

Be above the mix…

This past week, I had one of those moments where the most random thing just sparked an idea that I couldn’t shake.  “You need to be above the mix…”  I heard this in two different episodes of one of our favorite new shows, Empire.  Both times she was listening to a new track, and this was her suggestion, “be above the mix,” “Don’t hide behind the music.”

I just keep thinking of this in real life.  So many times in life we hide behind, what we want others to see and hear.  We are scared to stand out and be different.  To some comparing life to music production and songs, won’t make any sense, to others it’s going to click like it did for me.  When you listen to a number of today’s top songs, you will hear a lot of the same beats, you will hear the beats better than the lyrics, you hear words not lines.  Today songs come out, many sound the same, sale incredibly great, but the meaning is not there.  Songs are made to give people what they want to hear, they give that great beat to move to.

Many of us live our lives this exact same way.  We hide behind what we know others want to see or hear, we spend so much time doing what others want, we forget ourselves.  It’s the people who step up,  go above the mix, those that let their voice be heard, that speak clearly and with meaning and purpose, that are remembered.  These are the people who make a difference.

Are you willing to be above the mix and not hide behind the idea of who you are, but truly be you?  Are you willing to be the parent that says, my kid isn’t going to do that or I’m a parent not a friend?  Are you willing to be that husband that actually listens to his wife, that does the laundry and the dishes to give your wife a break?  Are you willing to be that friend, that slaps your best friend back to reality when they are just being plain stupid?  Are you willing to be that student, that stops the bully, that sets the example for the rest of the team, for the rest of the class?

Take just one day, and put yourself above the mix, put yourself above where others think you should be, and then prove why you should be there.  If you’re stuck in a hole, is up to you to grab the rope.  If your voice is far below the drum machine and the bass, you have to choose to move that fader up.  Others can put the equipment there, others can help only as much as you let them.  It is up to you to make the call to get it moving.

by corymcglone

Have we failed them?

When it comes to our kids, I know that any of us would do anything for them.  We try to protect them in every way that we can, we try to give them a better life than we had.  In doing so, we have raised a generation of wimpy vultures.  Bullies today are not the same as bullies back in the day.  Back when I was in school if having to deal with a bully, it stopped at the end of the school day, and it was one maybe two people.  Now, you have groups of “mean kids”, that will pick on kids at school and then it becomes cyber bully time.  It no longer stops, even the kids that aren’t bullies at school become bullies behind a keyboard.  We all know that kids can be mean, and we also know that kids discover these behaviors from somewhere.

That is why no matter how much you want to blame the schools, the administration, coaches, etc., it starts at home.  Parents we need to be involved with our kids.  We need to be in our kids lives, not just being around, not just running them to their events, but truly involved.  We need to know who their friends are, we need to know what they are doing when they are out.  We also need to know who and what they are online.  With the illusion that our kids need to be themselves, and that they need to have their privacy, so that they are free to be themselves, we lose our kids to the world.  When as parents, we lose touch with our kids, or we excuse ourselves from their life, we have no right to blame others for what our kids do or don’t do.  Now don’t think that I’m saying to go read your kids diary or journal, but we do need to know what is going on in their lives.  Spend time talking to them, they aren’t going to be excited about this, but communication is key.

At the end of the day, our kids take after us. If we don’t parent our children, how can we ask others to do so.  We have to set a proper example for our children in all that we do.  If you find yourself always posting negative comments online, especially when it has nothing to actually do with you, or you never have anything very positive to say about anything, you might be encouraging your child to be a bully, both online and in real life.  If you are talking about things with your kids, and setting a proper example, maybe we can stop some of this senseless violence, bullying, and suicide among young people in our world.

by corymcglone