What we’re doing just ain’t working…

Hands

In today’s world many times we are starting out our relationships and marriages on a track to fail. We think we need a prenup… Or to state that when, not if, we get divorced what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours. 50% of marriages are ending in divorce now. We either marry out of convenience, so that we’re not alone, or others expectations.

But 50% do seem to make it. This is the stat that no one ever seems to focus on. Half of the time we do meet our “true love” or “the one”. Now I’m not saying that the half that makes it is better or they never fight about things but they focus on the marriage as a true partnership and that all decisions are WE.

When couples that stay together and make it they are ones that fight for their marriage. Your marriage and your spouse are things that can’t be taken for granted. A marriage isn’t a cactus, it needs cared for more than just every once in a while.

When you hit those rough patches in your relationship take a look at yourself before looking at the other person. If it’s always their fault, in your eye, maybe it’s really you. Before you look at stepping away, look at the person that you are in love with, and remember what it was that made you fall in love with them. What changed? Who Changed? I am willing to bet that the thing about them that you fell in love with, is still there. Maybe you have just taken it for granted. Maybe you just need to refocus on the WE in the relationship instead of the me.

Whats your love?

To wrap-up this series, I thought it only fitting to do a post about Love on this Easter weekend.  I know that people everywhere will be blogging about Love and Passion and God this weekend, but I wanted to take this a slightly different way from the way I have written about love in the past.

World English Dictionary

love  (lʌv)
— vb
1. tr ) to have a great attachment to and affection for
2. tr ) to have passionate desire, longing, and feelings for
3. tr ) to like or desire (to do something) very much
4. tr ) to make love to
5. intr ) to be in love
— n
6. a. an intense emotion of affection, warmth, fondness, andregard towards a person or thing
b. ( as modifier ): love song love story
7. a deep feeling of sexual attraction and desire
8. wholehearted liking for or pleasure in something
9. Christianity
a. God’s benevolent attitude towards man
b. man’s attitude of reverent devotion towards God
10. Also: my love  a beloved person: used esp as an endearment
11. informal  ( Brit ) a term of address, esp but not necessarilyfor a person regarded as likable
12. (in tennis, squash, etc) a score of zero
13. fall in love  to become in love
14. for love  without payment
15. used with a negative for love or money  in anycircumstances: I wouldn’t eat a snail for love or money
16. for the love of  for the sake of

I went to dictionary.com and there are even more definitions than what I have listed here.  Then when you do a search at biblegateway.com there are 484 references of the word Love.

John 3:16

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

   16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His [a]only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Footnotes:

  1. John 3:16 Or unique, only one of His kind

What better show of love is there than what God did for us?  God gave up a piece of himself, as a sacrifice for us to be able to spend eternity with him.  So many times we get a distorted idea of what love really is.  We use the word love about so many different things, we love songs, we love cars, movies, tv shows, etc.  But when it comes to loving people, and being in love with someone, the feeling of love comes and goes.  Look at the high rate of divorce in our country, and when you talk to people that are divorced or separated, a lot of times you will hear them say that they just fell out of love.

But what God did for us, is the type of love that we should be striving for.  True love and passion for God and for others is love that gives up part of yourself, to benefit the other person.  In most cases, the other person will give back and give up part of themselves for you.  A true relationship is not one-sided, and too many times this is not the case, one side does all of the giving.  Too many times we take advantage of the gift of Love that God has given us.  God has only asked for us to listen and follow Him, to love our neighbors as ourselves.  We have so much to be thankful for and so little to do, to show our love back to God.

What are you willing to give up to follow Christ?  What part of yourself are you willing to give up for your spouse, family, friends?   Are you willing to go out of your way to do something for them, to step out of your comfort zone?

Love is not easy, it is to be cherished and fought for.  Jesus told his disciples, that the world would hate them, but to remember that it hated Him first.  And in marriages, you must always be willing to fight to keep your love alive.  The day that you say, “It can’t happen to us…”, is the day that trouble will begin.  You must guard your heart and guard your love.  Stand up for love, and for what matters in life.

God was will to have His own Son die, to show His love for us, what else is there to give up….

Love and Marriage

Over and over though life we hear about love.  I love _______.  You can fill in the blank with many different things.  For me  I love, God, my wife, my daughter, etc.  In today’s world though we get such twisted views of love.  We don’t have all the other words that other languages have.  We use the word love for the feelings we have for our spouse, kids, that cheeseburger at lunch.  It just doesn’t have the same meaning even though it is the same word.

But when we think about the love that you have for your spouse or loved ones, we think of the type of love that would go to the ends of the earth for the other person.  It is this love that makes you say that you would do anything for that person, you would be willing to give your life for that person.  This is what we hear about so much in songs and in movies, the guy saves the girl from the car at the last second, or the line from the Bruno Mars song, I’ll catch a grenade for you.  The fact that I would risk life and limb for my wife and daughter is a no brainer.

The main question to ask yourself when you know that you are in love, is not if you would stop a bullet for the other person or stop a run away train.  Ask yourself if at the end of your longest hardest day, are you willing to tell your wife go relax let me do the dishes, let me run the sweeper.  True love is looking at the relationship from both sides as an 80/20 split, I can take care of my wife, ensuring that her needs are met and she gets what she needs to be happy.   This fulfills my 20 percent for myself and lets her know that in everything that I do I am think of her.

Remember these things next time you tell someone you love them, and think of how you really mean it.  Look at the one you love and tell them that not only would you die for them, you will do the dishes or clean the bathroom.  Find out that one thing that they hate doing but have to, and do it for them, even though you hate it more.
And He said to him, ” ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’38“This is the great and foremost commandment.39“The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’40“On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”
Matthew 22:37-40 (New American Standard Bible)