A Happy Rambling Father’s Day

Right now as I hang out in front of the grill with the smell of cooking ribs I think about how thankful I am for my family.  That I have a loving caring wife, a wonderful daughter, these two are the reasons I’m a Father and celebrated today. My Dad and my father-in-law, along with some help(yeah that’s you Mom and Jazmina), did a good job raising me, my wife and sister-in-law. 

Both of these men have given me a Godly example of how to raise my daughter, provide and care for my family. I know I’ve said it numerous times before but I am so proud that my dad taught me things growing up that I still use today. I can build things, I can fix my own car, I can repair things in the house.  Growing up my dad wasn’t the wordiest, still isn’t but, he knew how to get to the point. Most of our must have father and son conversations can be summed up with ” don’t be an idiot.”  He always wanted better for me, and made me know that if I wanted something, I was going to work hard for it. 

Too many times today, we see fathers and families that just have children. It’s a world of I take my kid here and there I go to their games, I participate in their life. Participating in their life is not the same as being in their life. There are too many stories on the news today of young men, going out doing unspeakable things.  As a father, I want to instill in my child that I am here for her no matter what she does. I am also here to provide corrective measures as necessary. 

Too many times we over-compensate for our work schedules, or for the things we feel our dads did wrong. We take the I’ll do it differently approach to the extreme. All kids get a trophy now, everyone makes the team. We set kids up for failure. As kids we had to fight our own battles. If you lost you tried harder next time, you learned what you did wrong and fixed it for the next time. 

So I’ll end with this. Father’s be a great daddy today. Hold your kids tight, let them see you showing love to their mother, and be the daddy that they deserve.  

father in law bday
Be goofy
  
father nails
Be willing to get your nails done
   

Kids say the darndest things…

It’s very true that our kids say the darndest, most brutally honest things, they get it from somewhere.  Everything our kids do, they have learned it some place, from someone, somehow.  A number of the things that they pick up, we don’t really mind, but it isn’t always the good things they pick up on.

Our kids look to us for what to do in social interactions and in all situations.  Face it, you talk to your friends and co-workers completely different than you do around your house with your family and children, well maybe.  None of us really think about some of the things we say or do, until they are repeated or done by our kids.  There are so many kid’s today that are constantly in trouble, either at school or even the police, because of poor guidance or honestly a lack there of.

We have to guide our kids in the right ways try our hardest to keep them from doing just really stupid things.  I mean yes there is a fine line from being an over-protective parent, a controlling parent, and a crazy, but that is part of being a parent.  Face it, as a parent you are to be a parent not your child’s friend.  Now don’t get me wrong, you need to be there for your children, but being the cool parent, isn’t always going to be the best thing for your kids.  Now I’m not saying that I’m “World’s Greatest Dad” and should teach classes on how to be a father, but sometimes you go somewhere and you just think – I’m not doing so bad a am I…

We all have seen the kids, that make you think I wish they were your kid, or make you want to slap their momma.  Pushing your kids to be respectful to others is one thing, but more than that, we have to push our kids to respect themselves.  Too many kids today are “depressed” but are so privileged they don’t know what to do with themselves.  We have pushed to far into the “everyone did great”, and the everyone gets a trophy mentality that there is no winner.  This is where the problem comes along when these kids grow up and become part of “the real world,”  if something isn’t handed to them, they don’t know what to do.

Let’s push our kids to respect themselves and others.  Let’s push to break our kids of these entitled attitudes.  Start the push from within yourself.  Let you kids see you working hard for what you have and what your family has, teach them the value of money, time, love, and true friendship.  Let’s see our kids change the direction of their generation and our world.

What a difference a Y makes…

It starts 9 months before birth.  In the very formation of your life it is determined if you will someday get the opportunity to be a Father, and even better than that a Dad, and even better than that to be called Daddy.  It is a Y that determines the gender of a baby as it is still forming in the mother’s womb.  But the Y later turns a good name, Dad into a heart melting name Daddy.

We have all seen and or heard the saying that “Any man can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy,” and we all know that this is true.  The difference in the names just feels so much different even though they may refer to the same person.  We also hear the non complementary terms about dads; dead beat dad, absentee dads, estranged father, etc.  Then we hear people talk about single fathers, and stay at home dads, and the praise that goes along with those titles.  But what I want to talk about is what I was blessed to have, what my wife had, a Dad that’s there.

We live in a culture now that the majority of kids are growing up with only one parent or between parents.  Then we also have the families that are “in-tact” but not everyone is present.  A kid needs a dad that is there.  Dads need to be there for their kids, not just show up to things, but put up and shut up where our kids our are involved.

Fist Fish with Papaw
First Fish with Papaw

As I said above, and I have said before, I was very blessed to have a dad that was there for everything.  He was my soccer coach, he was my boss, my teacher, scout leader.  He was there for everything, he taught me how to work with my hands, how to respect people, how to work hard for what you want, and how to be a good dad.  These are all lessons that I could have learned from somewhere or someone else, but he knew it was his job and responsibility.

Mari and Daddy
4 yrs Ago
Mari and Daddy
Last Weekend

And I don’t understand how a man, and I will use the term loosely in this case, can beat, neglect, or just leave their kids.  The first time that my daughter said daddy, actually the first time I held her, I knew that I had something special.  You other dads can’t tell me that when one of your kids says, Daddy jump please, you don’t say how high and how many times.  Now I’m not saying its good to let the kids control things, but it’s just something about the “Daddy, …” along with a look that can make the hardest man melt.  When a child says “Dad..” it doesn’t carry the same weight.  It’s the Y that gets added to it, and makes the whole difference.

Happy Father’s Day to all the great Dads out there.  Enjoy the day and enjoy your kids.

Thing that make you go doh…

You know as your growing up, you look at your parents and think, I would never do something like that.  It could be something that they say or do that just bugs you, and it never worked the way they expected or you expected.  The key example of this is the classic, Because I said so.

This response never worked for our parents why would we expect it to work for us as parents.  The munchkin is going through a “Why?” phase right now; “You need to go shower. Why?” “Don’t go up the stairs by yourself.  Why?” sound familiar to anyone?  The other day I caught myself answering, “Because I said so, ” only to get the response “Why?” My response…..”Because I’m Daddy, and I say so.”  Her response, “Oh.”

But now she’s figured out the system.  Instead of “Why?” its, “Mommy didn’t say so.” “Daddy didn’t say so.” “Mommy say so,” you get the picture.  The best part is when she’s jumping on the bed and Mommy yells for her to stop from the other room then I walk in, and tell her to stop, “Mommy say so!”

I could lie and say I have no idea where she gets her orneriness; but I have a vague idea…..