Happy Monday everyone, and welcome back to another edition of Married Mondays. This week, I want to talk about trust. Trusting your spouse is not complacency or naivete. Trust is not control or guilt. Trust in a marriage is knowing that you are both looking out for the interest of the team. You are taking care of your marriage, you are doing the things that you promised to do when you took your marriage vows.
When you begin thinking, “Oh that could never…” or “we don’t have to worry about that…” you run the risk of becoming complacent. You run the risk of your spouse not knowing that you know they are worth fighting for. You can more easily loose the spark in your relationship, when you become complacent.
Trust, to be is being open and honest with your spouse. It comes back to communication. Even the small things that are going on make sure that your spouse knows. We all think differently about things. Take this for example:
“Honey it’s me. I don’t want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have checked me over and done some tests and some x-rays.
The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious internal injury.However I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they may have to amputate my right foot.
Wife’s Response: “Who is Paula?
Or this video:
But in all seriousness, in thinking about the Christmas story in the Bible and the events that led up to Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem, there was some true trust in each other and trust in God. A firm trust in God and what He has for you and your marriage, will push out any distrust between you. The more you trust God the more you will trust each other and all of those in your life.
18This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit.
19Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.
20As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit.
21And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”
22All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet:
23“Look! The virgin will conceive a child!
She will give birth to a son,
and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’”
24When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife.
Trusting in God and trusting in each other, are the pillars that a marriage and your life should be built upon. Let me also say that trust is not something to be abused. If there are trust issues in your relationship, work to resolve them. Trust issues and fights will break down your marriage, they will break you down as a person. Not to be corny but, Honesty is the best policy, is truth. You are a team, you are together one person, you should have no secrets from each other. If you scroll though your spouses camera roll/text messages/emails/(insert social media stream here), you shouldn’t be surprised by what you see.
Work with each other, talk out any issues that you have, with cool heads. Listen to each other, fight for each other not against each other. If you need to rebuild that trusting relationship. Don’t hold past issues in the way of rebuilding that trust. Yes broken trust is hard to repair but it’s not impossible unless you make it impossible.
This week, talk with your spouse. Make sure that they know that you feel that your marriage is worth fighting for.